To make a countryman understand what feuille-morte colour signifies, it may suffice to tell him, it is the colour of withered leaves in autumn. — John Locke, An Essay Concerning Human Understanding, 1690 (Source: Merriam Webster)
strolling on a red-orange path, re-living glimpses of our past fly like feathers of gold.
like the autumn foliage running so wild, our memories so old.
my amber sight searching for your light, mingling with the tears of agony.
because — you felt so safe and sound as the beautiful selection of brown.
Yesterday when I was rummaging through my thoughts, I came across a question my inner self asked me. It was- “What if I cared enough about the kind of person I am rather than my appearance, by this time wouldn’t I have become a better version of myself? Wouldn’t it be an actual self-growth?”
That question struck my brain like lightning. All this time I tried, tried hard, and still do, to mould into the so-called societal standards and blend in.
Since the beginning of my teenage years, I’ve been on the receiving end of unnecessary criticism and opinions by strangers and the people I count on, about my physical appearance. Being told that I was “fat” or “too chubby” took a toll on me. I started looking myself through the lenses of other people, who I had thought had an actual opinion of me and defined me.
After all these years, I’ve learnt that other’s opinion are not our responsibility, infact, there opinions don’t matter and neither do they can define you and your worth, because to define is to limit. And maybe I still not might be content in myself and my body, but I know that un dia I will be.
I’d rather be kind. I’d rather be smart. I think our number one priority should be is to focus on our talents, abilities and flourish our personality rather than our extrinsic self, which is transient and ever-changing and doesn’t matter at theend of the day.
All it takes is to know that you are valid, loved and appreciated no matter what. You have all the potential to conquer your fears and insecurities. You have what it takes to be your best-self. Before, I didn’t realize that how crucial is self-love and I can’t stress this point enough. Self-love doesn’t happen overnight, it courses through those good & bad days, it takes time. Because no rain, no flowers (cliché, but true). One day, you’ll rise above everything that tried to shove you down and you’ll be greater, content than ever and grateful for all the hardships you faced.
If you made it till the end, I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart and I’m so grateful that you took your time to read through it.
In my time on this planet until now, I’ve learned that Life is a path brimful of evergreen trees imparting wisdom, oceans of happiness, birds of purpose but along the path we come across cobblestones and fragments of desultry events. And a mixture of the course of these events is what makes our lives an adventure worth it all.